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It's amazing how much an instant can change one's perception of another person, even without words. I'd been thinking about going up to Jesse and saying something like "It's safe to smirk across the room at you because then I don't have to talk to you, but ..." and ask about the cds the teacher keeps giving him. I'd been thinking about drawing off of him (very good hair, nearly Afri-quiality but dark blond). But then, as I came back to school from lunch today, he was going to wrong way, and there was a cigarette in his hand. It was like there was a sound in my mind that was a compromise between FOOM, WHAP, and FWACK, one syllable but very profound. Goodness. It's a very deeply held prejudice I have that I just recently considered contemplating. All people who smoke are not inconsiderate bandwagon fools, though they may all have been at some point. The government teacher quit smoking 10 years ago. Salad himself quit smoking, though I don't think he was ever really addicted. But that was the immediate perspective shift I experienced: I don't want to associate with this person! he's a _smoker_. I guess it's worsened by the fact that he's my age and probably doesn't know what he's doing.
So I put aside all thoughts of trying to be friendly and engaging in conversation. I quit staring at him in amusement as he shied his eyes away. But I still couldn't help glancing at him occasionally. I guess he's still really the same potentially cool person to know. He still might like classic rock and play guitar and smile shyly. But I find it a little harder to acknowledge that. Maybe it's an intrusion of reality; we're all dumb teenagers, so what would make me think he was any more interesting than the rest of them? His silence in discussions may not be painful shyness, but lack of effort, or even of intelligence. Oh, who knows. I'd have a much harder time approaching him now, though, if I did. Should I, I wonder?
Did you mean this week or next week? I can come tomorrow if you're there.
The magazine's called Strange Horizons, and their fiction submission guidelines are at http://www.strangehorizons.com/guidelines/fiction.shtml . They do art and poetry too. I read a couple of the stories they printed, and I think they have pretty good taste. I dunno how much publicity they get or how much good a foot in that door would do you, but we'll see if they like DU.
So I put aside all thoughts of trying to be friendly and engaging in conversation. I quit staring at him in amusement as he shied his eyes away. But I still couldn't help glancing at him occasionally. I guess he's still really the same potentially cool person to know. He still might like classic rock and play guitar and smile shyly. But I find it a little harder to acknowledge that. Maybe it's an intrusion of reality; we're all dumb teenagers, so what would make me think he was any more interesting than the rest of them? His silence in discussions may not be painful shyness, but lack of effort, or even of intelligence. Oh, who knows. I'd have a much harder time approaching him now, though, if I did. Should I, I wonder?
Did you mean this week or next week? I can come tomorrow if you're there.
The magazine's called Strange Horizons, and their fiction submission guidelines are at http://www.strangehorizons.com/guidelines/fiction.shtml . They do art and poetry too. I read a couple of the stories they printed, and I think they have pretty good taste. I dunno how much publicity they get or how much good a foot in that door would do you, but we'll see if they like DU.
From: (Anonymous)
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