I went outside to walk. I ended up in the treehouse in the quad. I called Ryan, asked if he was busy, and he said not for me and was there within two minutes. He hugged me for an hour while I talked at him and was silent at him and tried not to cry on him. I sat in the treehouse, moving with the sun, for another couple hours while he worked in studio, and it was a warm and solid thing that he was only 100 or so feet away. Stephan tends to think he has to do or say something, and Dan tends toward platitudes (sincere, but still unhelpful). Joodles is just there, and warm and solid, and doesn't let go. He came back out for dinner and got me out of the tree to take me to South servery, and let me steal food with his card. I am back now to get the music for Hair rehearsal, which is something to think about.
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