If there's anything terribly out-of-character that you see yourself doing, then tell me, and if there's anything that's too horribly stupid or unreasonable, tell me also. Here's the bg that I had to give the teacher, then the continuation from where Rarae cuts off.


1. Obviously, Munrarae was a cat; by choice, her pioneer ancestors had all become humanoid cats.
Their world was primarily feline; most considered it an improvement on Old Earth.
1a. They had come in a colony ship; accordingly, their luxuries were minimal.
They lived a frugal life at first; however, the standard of living improved once the settlements were well-established.
1b. They lived similarly to their human ancestors; they did have cities, but their solitary natures dictated that most of the population be rural.
She lived in the House of Renol, yet had her own dwelling; each person had the choice of his own company.
1c. There were some extreme recluses; others were facultatively social; all were taught self-dependence.
She, having a few close friends, was not averse to intelligent conversation; her foster brother Afri, by contrast, was the archetype of the gregarious charmer; they were, oddly enough, quite close.
1. The humanoid cats of the world were called m'ae; they were of four races.
The first race, the Sylvan, were of medium build and coloring; Afri and Munrarae were typical examples.
1a. The Sylvan class tended to be comprised of philosophically-minded introverts; however, as with any group, there were exceptions.
Mairnatali, Afri's blood sister, was a Sylvan; consequently, everyone had difficulties reconciling her superficial, obstreperous character with her studious appearance.
1b. The stereotype of the scheming, capricious airhead was more often applied to the race of the Nomadic, or Desert, m'ae; this denomination was unjustly notorious for untrustworthiness, although the caravans of the wandering clans were also noted for their skill in smithing and martial arts, and use of desert herbs.
A Desert m'az was not necessarily a nomad; the hereditary wanderlust had faded in some, and they lived in the cities which dot the continent.
1c. One such "root-foot" was Niara Bene'aran; Nia, originally from the Desert citadel of Azhmet, moved to Khorea as a cub; there, she lived for years in the House of Renol with little impetus to roam.
In fact, she was loath to give up her position there for an uncertain future on the road; when the time came, the decision to leave was unexpectedly difficult; even she herself couldn't have foretold the diffident manner with which she greeted the Journey.
2. Nia moved only at the behest of her friend Munrarae; 'Rarae, at Afri's; Afri, at that of his idol Samrais.
Sam, a minstrel like Afri, started the trip with hope for a new career; 'Rarae, with interest in the knowledge to be acquired in new surroundings; Nia, with vague misgivings.
1. Once on the road, the little party enjoyed themselves; their feet were lightened by the music of the three minstrels in the group.
1a. Rarae harmonized to Sam's bass and Afri's melody; consequently, the first leg of their journey was one of three parts.
1b. Later, Alaiah overcame her shyness, and Rarae convinced her to join in on some of the songs they knew from school; after the first village they passed, the harmony was SATB.
1c. Niara simply listened, enjoying the music; Evlasha was still shy; Rarae could convince neither to join.
2. It took the singers minutes to notice the eerie silence; Niara, seconds.
3. Evlasha knew immediately what the cause was: only Amspisali could still the birds instantly.
4. Everyone halted immediately, once he understood Evlasha's silence; Amspisali are dangerous, terrible, lethal.
4. Once it came into the open, they could all see its fanged mouth, clawed toes, rippling muscles.
4a. No one moved; none of them was suicidal or moronic or both.
4a. They all winced as it opened its jaws, but it only spoke: "I'm hot and tired and hungry and lonely; will you take me to Iaguarra?"
1. The infamous Amspisal proved amiable enough; it was merely lonely and uncomfortable, and wanted to go to the capitol with them.
1a. They were willing to accept its company, especially in light of its species's reputation; moreover, it was amenable to carrying as much of their travel paraphernalia as it could, which was a considerable amount.
1b. It was a pleasant addition to their party, and they learned about it as their journey wore on; it was a she, and her name was Forsyth.
1c. Forsyth was no singer, but she noticed some odd reverberations when all four musicians let loose; Niara had been pondering them for some time; they quietly consulted.
2. Forsyth was sure the overtones were metaphysical in nature; Niara, not so sure.
3. Rion eventually joined their musings and insisted on experimentation, and the results were conclusive: when heartfelt, their music had a definite physical effect on the open-minded.
4. Rion and Alaiah were immediately excited at the possibilities; if legitimate, their discovery could be invaluable, inestimable, miraculous.
4a. What the projection of their emotions into sound seemed to do, when concentrated and amplified by their rapport, was amazing and inconceivable and supernatural.
5. If they refined their methods properly, they might do what mages and sages, telepaths and kinetics, lorekeepers and philosophers, had failed to do: heal and regenerate people without the use of anything but intentions and sound.
5. At least, that's what Rion and Alaiah were excitedly contemplating before they were interrupted by calamity and misfortune, disaster and affliction, adversity and distress.



I know, it gets a little cheesy at some points, but I was in a hurry at some points. So there. Feeeeedback. Where do you think it should go, peoples? I don't have any plans other than eventually we get to Iaguarra and have to take the throne back from Ssela, and the whole battle/retreat scene where he kicks the bucket for no good reason, and the scene after that (I drew a picture of it, maybe I should upload sometime). Gimme details. Ideas. Lala.

From: (Anonymous)


Aaa! You can make sentence-pattern things sound good! Cool story... ^^ I'd give you better feedback than that, but it's been a really long day.
.

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