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You wanna see something really strange that came of a five-word exercise and I'd forgotten it existed until I started cleaning up my hard drive?
Satan tap-dance meat loaf fuji/mushrooms
The boy was unhappy with life in his town. It bored him, for there were always people who wanted more than they had, and they complained or they made deals with Satan and were damned or they did without in a very soulfully humble way that annoyed him. The boy was ambitious. He expected to make his way in the world with only his skill in cooking, and to be successful in life as his four brothers had been before him. However, as youngest brothers often are, he was very clever to go with his ambitions, and cleverness never gets you anywhere in the world but into trouble.
He met Satan one day by the side of the road near his house, and Satan said to him:
“I can help you to live happily, boy; what do you wish for most? I will give it to you, for your soul in return.”
The boy stood for awhile in thought, before asking cleverly:
“The thing I want most in the world is that you tap-dance until mushrooms grow out of the ground at your hooves and you are too tired to offer anyone else wishes, ever again.” Satan had no choice but to dance off down the road, never again to offer anyone any worthwhile wishes but mushrooms (this was long after Faust and Dorian Gray and Tom Rakewell). The boy was pleased, though he did realize that his soul now belonged to someone doomed to tap-dance on mushrooms for eternity.
He went to the big tavern in his town, where his four brothers worked as waiters and had enough money to feed their four wives. He asked the cook if he could apprentice there; the cook was skeptical of his talents. He said:
“You don’t think I could cook better than you in five days of learning? I will go up mount Fuji if you don’t believe I have overcome your skill in five days.”
The cook, not being as clever as the boy, thought it would be entertaining to watch him go up mount Fuji, so he allowed the boy to stay. The boy’s next youngest brother tried to help him, warning him about the visit of the town marshal in time to make his favorite dish, five days after he started as the cook’s apprentice. The boy thanked his brother and gave him a mushroom for the news.
The day the marshal came, the boy cooked his favorite meat loaf, and put in another mushroom from the road. The marshal declared his cooking the best he had ever tasted, and began to dance. Fortunately, he stopped soon, not being affected by the curse. The cook, however, was incensed, and ate the rest of the meat loaf. He declared it terrible, turning the boy out to go up mount Fuji.
The boy, having planned for this contingency, followed the trail of mushrooms to Satan (who hadn’t got far before dancing so hard the earth split and there was a gap to Hell), and sat on Satan’s head, and pulled Satan’s ears. He pulled them so hard, and pushed so hard with his knees, that Satan had no choice but to go dancing along the path wherever the boy chose. So the boy went up mount Fuji, happily as can be, and lived on mushrooms for the rest of his days. And the rest of his days never ended, because, while his soul belonged to Satan, Satan was too busy dancing to take it from him.
The cook, the marshal, and the boy’s four brothers were left in the tavern with their second-rate meat loaf, to die in a mere fifty or so years, and the mushroom shortage in the town caused a famine the next year and killed them all anyway.
Satan tap-dance meat loaf fuji/mushrooms
The boy was unhappy with life in his town. It bored him, for there were always people who wanted more than they had, and they complained or they made deals with Satan and were damned or they did without in a very soulfully humble way that annoyed him. The boy was ambitious. He expected to make his way in the world with only his skill in cooking, and to be successful in life as his four brothers had been before him. However, as youngest brothers often are, he was very clever to go with his ambitions, and cleverness never gets you anywhere in the world but into trouble.
He met Satan one day by the side of the road near his house, and Satan said to him:
“I can help you to live happily, boy; what do you wish for most? I will give it to you, for your soul in return.”
The boy stood for awhile in thought, before asking cleverly:
“The thing I want most in the world is that you tap-dance until mushrooms grow out of the ground at your hooves and you are too tired to offer anyone else wishes, ever again.” Satan had no choice but to dance off down the road, never again to offer anyone any worthwhile wishes but mushrooms (this was long after Faust and Dorian Gray and Tom Rakewell). The boy was pleased, though he did realize that his soul now belonged to someone doomed to tap-dance on mushrooms for eternity.
He went to the big tavern in his town, where his four brothers worked as waiters and had enough money to feed their four wives. He asked the cook if he could apprentice there; the cook was skeptical of his talents. He said:
“You don’t think I could cook better than you in five days of learning? I will go up mount Fuji if you don’t believe I have overcome your skill in five days.”
The cook, not being as clever as the boy, thought it would be entertaining to watch him go up mount Fuji, so he allowed the boy to stay. The boy’s next youngest brother tried to help him, warning him about the visit of the town marshal in time to make his favorite dish, five days after he started as the cook’s apprentice. The boy thanked his brother and gave him a mushroom for the news.
The day the marshal came, the boy cooked his favorite meat loaf, and put in another mushroom from the road. The marshal declared his cooking the best he had ever tasted, and began to dance. Fortunately, he stopped soon, not being affected by the curse. The cook, however, was incensed, and ate the rest of the meat loaf. He declared it terrible, turning the boy out to go up mount Fuji.
The boy, having planned for this contingency, followed the trail of mushrooms to Satan (who hadn’t got far before dancing so hard the earth split and there was a gap to Hell), and sat on Satan’s head, and pulled Satan’s ears. He pulled them so hard, and pushed so hard with his knees, that Satan had no choice but to go dancing along the path wherever the boy chose. So the boy went up mount Fuji, happily as can be, and lived on mushrooms for the rest of his days. And the rest of his days never ended, because, while his soul belonged to Satan, Satan was too busy dancing to take it from him.
The cook, the marshal, and the boy’s four brothers were left in the tavern with their second-rate meat loaf, to die in a mere fifty or so years, and the mushroom shortage in the town caused a famine the next year and killed them all anyway.
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