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Since I think that if I tried to go to class this morning I would not fare well on the way, I'll write you regarding the differences certain words and even different words for the same images can make in my state of mind (and stomach). Forgive me if any of this is too much information, but I think it's interesting.
As I got up to take a shower this morning, a dreadful, dreadful state of being made itself known in my brain and its connection to my stomach (terrible conduit metaphor, there, I now notice). I sleep on a bed raised over my desk and as I regarded the ladder down, I considered the probable day ahead of me and the phrase "descent into madness" came to mind. I tried to think positively, and applied one of the standard vocal metaphors used to ease the passage into the upper register, and equated an ascent with a descent (now I reconsider the fact that there is really nothing "up" about the upper register, merely faster vibrations. Spatial metaphors are so pervasive). So I felt slightly better thinking "up" as I was actually going down into the mad world from blessed unconsciousness.
So unconsciousness was blessed, was it? I was descending from it, so it must be up, so it must be good (the actual physical descent was not relevant to my consideration at the time). So why, then, do people fall unconscious? This train of thought, especially since I had just entered the bathroom and been confronted with all the gross dirty dishes in the sink, was not positive for my state of being just then. I nearly gagged, and then thought, "but they will be cleaned 'UP'!" and jumped into the shower and raised my eyes to the ceiling, so I couldn't see the hair in the drain I knew was there (oh, the hazards of roommates with long hair).
Overcome with nauseous misery, I crumpled to the floor of the shower and closed my eyes. This was a mistake. All my careful self-prompting and equation of "up" with "good" were useless if I didn't practice according to their advice; maybe even worse, because now that I had equated down with bad it felt like treason to myself to fall down. And then I opened my eyes. There were all kinds of interesting residue on the floor of the shower which did not help me. As they scooted along into the drain, I contemplated plumbing. From here, on the fourth floor, it goes unequivocally down. More gagging. However, relative to those bits of residue, I am rising. Hurrah for moving perspective.
I had to sit in the shower with the water off for nearly half an hour meditating on things that rise before I could get up and come back in here to write this. I couldn't stomach the vitamins which will doubtless improve my condition, but not because they are unpalatable. Things one swallows go down (unless one is upside-down, which I do not intend to be in the near future). Vitamins are good. If they go down, they are bad. It was a little less cut-and-dry and more subconscious at the time, I think, but the concepts were similar. So when I swallow things that I'd rather not think about, their going down is a subconscious comfort.
Now that you're thoroughly informed of things I'm sure you'd rather not hear about, I'm going to ascend the ladder once more and see if I can rise from there to unconsciousness.
As I got up to take a shower this morning, a dreadful, dreadful state of being made itself known in my brain and its connection to my stomach (terrible conduit metaphor, there, I now notice). I sleep on a bed raised over my desk and as I regarded the ladder down, I considered the probable day ahead of me and the phrase "descent into madness" came to mind. I tried to think positively, and applied one of the standard vocal metaphors used to ease the passage into the upper register, and equated an ascent with a descent (now I reconsider the fact that there is really nothing "up" about the upper register, merely faster vibrations. Spatial metaphors are so pervasive). So I felt slightly better thinking "up" as I was actually going down into the mad world from blessed unconsciousness.
So unconsciousness was blessed, was it? I was descending from it, so it must be up, so it must be good (the actual physical descent was not relevant to my consideration at the time). So why, then, do people fall unconscious? This train of thought, especially since I had just entered the bathroom and been confronted with all the gross dirty dishes in the sink, was not positive for my state of being just then. I nearly gagged, and then thought, "but they will be cleaned 'UP'!" and jumped into the shower and raised my eyes to the ceiling, so I couldn't see the hair in the drain I knew was there (oh, the hazards of roommates with long hair).
Overcome with nauseous misery, I crumpled to the floor of the shower and closed my eyes. This was a mistake. All my careful self-prompting and equation of "up" with "good" were useless if I didn't practice according to their advice; maybe even worse, because now that I had equated down with bad it felt like treason to myself to fall down. And then I opened my eyes. There were all kinds of interesting residue on the floor of the shower which did not help me. As they scooted along into the drain, I contemplated plumbing. From here, on the fourth floor, it goes unequivocally down. More gagging. However, relative to those bits of residue, I am rising. Hurrah for moving perspective.
I had to sit in the shower with the water off for nearly half an hour meditating on things that rise before I could get up and come back in here to write this. I couldn't stomach the vitamins which will doubtless improve my condition, but not because they are unpalatable. Things one swallows go down (unless one is upside-down, which I do not intend to be in the near future). Vitamins are good. If they go down, they are bad. It was a little less cut-and-dry and more subconscious at the time, I think, but the concepts were similar. So when I swallow things that I'd rather not think about, their going down is a subconscious comfort.
Now that you're thoroughly informed of things I'm sure you'd rather not hear about, I'm going to ascend the ladder once more and see if I can rise from there to unconsciousness.
