Another guilt trip

[sanura]

What is with my lack of suffering? I feel so guilty for not sharing the weighty matters of my heart-sharers' depressions. I feel like if I'm not suffering, I must be numb. But I can still be happy. I've been frightened out of my wits for four years straight before, but it's not the same. My heart would go into overdrive at the slightest hint or mention of disease, war, or natural disaster (except fire), and there are a LOT of natural disasters in California. Mudslides, fires, rockslides, floods, storms.. oh yeah, and earthquakes. I was suffering then. Maybe it was in sympathy with Mama, who had trouble sleeping at night because of the persecution the idiots in administration were inflicting on us. Shortly after we moved here, there's little stress but school, and the weight of the ocean has been lifted from me. I never suffered as a little kid, except when I fell off the counter headfirst onto the tile, and the occasional poison ivy or sumac. Not terrible emotional suffering. I was a pretty comfortable, laid-back kid. I guess felines don't suffer. I discussed it with Nia the other day, and I guess it's just my nature to be comfortable unless there's something that's really bothering me. I get annoyed, disgusted and enraged, but not encumbered or distraught. I wish I could do something for you wolf types.