![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Ecce! Pez is conscious, and recovering steadily. I still wonder what happened to him. Well, he's important to Ally, and thus important to me that he be there. All my silver friends seem to be fortunate today. And I have a cold.
I got several Ansteorra-announce emails today. It makes me yearn for majority, just so I could zoom up to Gulf Wars and participate. Of course, that would require both that I know how to do something that they exhibit there, and also that I learn to drive, and I'm not driving until I have to. Yick. Too much responsibility. I want the freedom to wander, but I'll have to make do with my pedal capacity for the moment, because I don't want the opportunity to turn myself into a smear of meat on the highway. Not that it's in any way likely, I just would rather be driven by someone with 30 years of experience, until it's absolutely necessary I learn. Besides, I like riding in the car. I don't know if I'd like driving. Excuses, excuses.
We started Chichester Psalms today at Rice (Leonard Bernstein). Very strange, but very fun. Dissonance seems to bother a lot of people. I like it. And the progressions are so unique and original. Unlike anything I ever try to come up with. Same ol' V-I for me, and I'm even in theory so I can analyze it. I just don't seem to have the creative capacity to come up with something different. The same goes for a whole lot of what I do. I mean, take my stories. Dhui. Cat people. How original. And what artist in Loth hasn't drawn one? I can claim originality because I came up with it years before I ever encountered Elfwood, but geez. I'm not thinking outside the box. Is it because I haven't read enough? Or is it because I've read too much and try to base my writing on things I've read, and never get out of what's already been done? I mean, Ally has this whole dark thing down, and can write intensely cool stories with it from a fresh point of view because people usually don't like to hear the villain's side, because they arbitrarily dismiss him as evil and unworthy of care. I suppose there are a few stories of the poor, misunderstood, power-hungry underprivileged (Raistlin comes to mind), but she's taken it to a new level and I envy her for the newness of her thought. I was sure I had an original idea with my saga, but everything I've come up with so far, I've encountered either reading recently, or irl. Ex.: artificial dimensional portal which allows the rules of magic to be temporarily imposed on certain things, and it stays open so long that the inherent consciousness of the universe (I thought I had it, there, but then I read about Dust in Pullman's book) makes a permanent gateway, responding to the syntax that the makers of the gate imposed on it (magic words/gestures). Another example: people who truly and correctly believed that they were, spiritually, animal (myself included). I had this, way back in elementary-equivalent, and wondered if I was crazy for thinking it. My mom thought it was a game or phase or something, and now I have to keep it from her if I don't want a confrontation. I thought I had a new idea. Then I found that people had been awere for a long time, and made up terms and jargon and articles of their own, as a group on the web. Eheu! I thought I was the only one, and now people make me mad with their sudden usurpment of the very serious idea, for a mere RPing purpose. Aurrhghm. Anyway. That's a whole nother rant. This one... suffice it to say that, even though I may have some small skill with the language, it means little if my ideas are mediocre to write about.
And that may be a measure of my lack of, not intelligence, but wisdom in the D&D sense. Ally's got, what, an 18 to start with, lv1, and I maybe a 12. And then my beloved Aussie goes and has 18s across the board (cept maybe str), and I can barely compete with him in the writing arena. He got a tsaakhin' EIGHT on his last in-class essay. It's the AP scale of one to ten (ten being impossible to acheive, as no one can write a perfect essay because writing is just not like that), and eights and nines are supposedly impossible for sophomores to acheive (although there have been two eights this year and unconfirmed rumors of a nine). I twice made a seven, and on this last one, a six. And he an eight. It almost makes me want to give up. But I don't do that.
I got several Ansteorra-announce emails today. It makes me yearn for majority, just so I could zoom up to Gulf Wars and participate. Of course, that would require both that I know how to do something that they exhibit there, and also that I learn to drive, and I'm not driving until I have to. Yick. Too much responsibility. I want the freedom to wander, but I'll have to make do with my pedal capacity for the moment, because I don't want the opportunity to turn myself into a smear of meat on the highway. Not that it's in any way likely, I just would rather be driven by someone with 30 years of experience, until it's absolutely necessary I learn. Besides, I like riding in the car. I don't know if I'd like driving. Excuses, excuses.
We started Chichester Psalms today at Rice (Leonard Bernstein). Very strange, but very fun. Dissonance seems to bother a lot of people. I like it. And the progressions are so unique and original. Unlike anything I ever try to come up with. Same ol' V-I for me, and I'm even in theory so I can analyze it. I just don't seem to have the creative capacity to come up with something different. The same goes for a whole lot of what I do. I mean, take my stories. Dhui. Cat people. How original. And what artist in Loth hasn't drawn one? I can claim originality because I came up with it years before I ever encountered Elfwood, but geez. I'm not thinking outside the box. Is it because I haven't read enough? Or is it because I've read too much and try to base my writing on things I've read, and never get out of what's already been done? I mean, Ally has this whole dark thing down, and can write intensely cool stories with it from a fresh point of view because people usually don't like to hear the villain's side, because they arbitrarily dismiss him as evil and unworthy of care. I suppose there are a few stories of the poor, misunderstood, power-hungry underprivileged (Raistlin comes to mind), but she's taken it to a new level and I envy her for the newness of her thought. I was sure I had an original idea with my saga, but everything I've come up with so far, I've encountered either reading recently, or irl. Ex.: artificial dimensional portal which allows the rules of magic to be temporarily imposed on certain things, and it stays open so long that the inherent consciousness of the universe (I thought I had it, there, but then I read about Dust in Pullman's book) makes a permanent gateway, responding to the syntax that the makers of the gate imposed on it (magic words/gestures). Another example: people who truly and correctly believed that they were, spiritually, animal (myself included). I had this, way back in elementary-equivalent, and wondered if I was crazy for thinking it. My mom thought it was a game or phase or something, and now I have to keep it from her if I don't want a confrontation. I thought I had a new idea. Then I found that people had been awere for a long time, and made up terms and jargon and articles of their own, as a group on the web. Eheu! I thought I was the only one, and now people make me mad with their sudden usurpment of the very serious idea, for a mere RPing purpose. Aurrhghm. Anyway. That's a whole nother rant. This one... suffice it to say that, even though I may have some small skill with the language, it means little if my ideas are mediocre to write about.
And that may be a measure of my lack of, not intelligence, but wisdom in the D&D sense. Ally's got, what, an 18 to start with, lv1, and I maybe a 12. And then my beloved Aussie goes and has 18s across the board (cept maybe str), and I can barely compete with him in the writing arena. He got a tsaakhin' EIGHT on his last in-class essay. It's the AP scale of one to ten (ten being impossible to acheive, as no one can write a perfect essay because writing is just not like that), and eights and nines are supposedly impossible for sophomores to acheive (although there have been two eights this year and unconfirmed rumors of a nine). I twice made a seven, and on this last one, a six. And he an eight. It almost makes me want to give up. But I don't do that.
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
Eh. You shouldn't give up. Hard as it is for you to believe...you aren't unoriginal. You are very creative.
I'm just screwed-up. ^_^