sanura: (Default)
( Jan. 27th, 2010 07:43 pm)
I have had, and made some sort of closure regarding, my first fight with Stephan. He hurt my feelings really rather irredeemably, but what he did was in no other sense morally wrong, and it wasn't malicious, merely thoughtless. It was actually more psychologically extreme and painful not to be able, because of my own emotions, to talk to him for several days, than it was to mull over the actual drama itself. I couldn't sleep, could barely eat, and shook so hard I thought I might fall down the stairs. It would be a gaping, damaging hole in both our social psyches, if we lost each other as friends. It will be awhile before I can trust him fully again, irrational as that may be, but we are talking again and it is better.
sanura: (Default)
( Dec. 1st, 2009 09:29 pm)
I would already have summarized Thanksgiving's events several times over but for the proliferation of Events with Consequences still reverberating across various Sides that were apparently taken (I didn't notice until later). So rather than a daily blow-by-blow, which is more effective immediately as events warrant rather than days after the fact, I will highlight for posterity my favorite facets of the trip )

Not a terrible lot has happened to me since my return. I was nervous about my lesson with Coleman yesterday, but it went well. We played through my Fauré chart, listened to some things together, and tried some improv on it within the goals he set for me (failure, but the constructive kind), and it was a generally good arrival home. I'd missed the roomies while abroad in MN, and it was good to see them again. Not as pleasant to see the mouse, which has returned and is warily watching me type this very entry, but at least he's cute, too.

A couple things weigh on me enough to prevent actual contentedness; overactive empathy always troubles my stomach when close friends suffer, and so even making experimental cookies this afternoon with the Happy playlist blasting couldn't alleviate the background of ominous stress. In addition, a mass-family-announcement email from my aunt informs me that a cousin younger than I am is pregnant, which is a disturbing thought. I'll see if I can distract myself from other people's issues with some homework or some TV. Tony's out at yoga and Brent's out at VGO rehearsal till 1, so their presence can't drown out the rising weird.
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