I have had, and made some sort of closure regarding, my first fight with Stephan. He hurt my feelings really rather irredeemably, but what he did was in no other sense morally wrong, and it wasn't malicious, merely thoughtless. It was actually more psychologically extreme and painful not to be able, because of my own emotions, to talk to him for several days, than it was to mull over the actual drama itself. I couldn't sleep, could barely eat, and shook so hard I thought I might fall down the stairs. It would be a gaping, damaging hole in both our social psyches, if we lost each other as friends. It will be awhile before I can trust him fully again, irrational as that may be, but we are talking again and it is better.